People are seldom too busy to stop and tell you how busy they are.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
I am not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking that I think that you’re thinking I’m thinking because if you think that I think what I think I’m thinking then we’ve got a problem?
If you can smile when things go wrong, That means you have someone in mind to blame.
Dear son! If you really want something in life, work hard. Now keep quiet, they are about to announce lottery numbers.
His I.Q. is so low you can’t test it. You have to dig his brain for it.
Science is what you know and philosophy is what you don’t know
Computers make very fast and very accurate mistakes.
Money is the root of all evil, for more information, send $50 please.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
He broke her heart, she broke his xbox. What do you think who cried harder?
I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice stuck in my nose.
I regret leaving my phone on silent, when I cant find it.
Good friends don’t let you do stupid things alone.
Money does not bring happiness, but shopping does.
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.